The scariest C-word…and how to get more of it

May 30, 2022

The C-word. We all want it.

Some of us try to find it though books, classes, accomplishments. Many of us fake it at times. But I think it’s fair to say most of us struggle with it. 

Yep, you guessed it. Confidence. It’s a tough one, right? Especially in the world of art and creativity, where you’re putting yourself out there constantly.

The biggest thing that I’ve learned about confidence over the past 15 years that I’ve spent working on myself is that confidence is not something that someone bestows on you. It comes from YOU. It’s taken me a long time to figure this out, and it’s still a daily practice for me, but I’ve come so far. And so can you. 

Here are my top strategies to get those confidence levels skyrocketing. 

#1: Watch your self-talk. The negative, defeating language that takes you down before you even start something. Most of us would never talk to a friend the way we talk to ourselves. So STOP. Replace the Debbie Downer story with a story about how freakin’ amazing you are. Because you are. 

#2: Eliminate people in your life who don’t want to see you shine. I took this one VERY seriously and it changed my life. (That’s another whole blog post, so stay tuned.) For most people, it’s about putting up loving barriers. If somebody isn’t respecting you or what you want to do, or respecting your choices, then you have to make a decision about how much of your life you want to share with that person. And guess what? As the negative people start to fall away, you’re going to clear space for the right people to come into your life.

#3: Focus on how you’re serving others. Yep, stop making it about you. You know the stories: I’ve got to write this book and it’s got to win five awards, hit the best seller list on launch day, or I suck. NO. That’s ego talking, and you’re not going to do your best work. I’m not saying we shouldn’t have high standards, but we can’t hold ourselves to impossible standards either. If you’re focusing on what you can give to others, you’re going to make a better effort to bring your best self to the page, or to whatever work you’re doing. This will shift your confidence, too, because you’re not worrying about how good you are or aren’t, but how you can help. 

#4: List all the reasons why you CAN something instead of thinking about why you can’t. This is important: Write it all down. All the reasons why you’re gonna rock it. Then read it every time doubt starts to creep in. 

#5: Be true to yourself. If you’re trying to be someone you’re not, or trying to work in a job that doesn’t fit you, or write a book that someone tells you is the next big thing but it doesn’t resonate with you—stop it. If you’re not being your authentic self and letting that come through, you WON’T feel confident, because you’re out of alignment with what IS true to you. 

#6: Meditate. Some people wonder how writing and spirituality tie together. Simple—if you’re not tuned in, and if you’re not making space in your brain, you’re missing an opportunity to get the messages that are coming through to you from your intuition. Your gut knows what you’re supposed to do. Trust it, and your confidence will shine through. 

Which of these will you try next time you’re feeling doubt taking over? Head over to Instagram and let me know!

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